To know you're alive

I called Larkin the day after my car accident. She didn't answer, so I left a message.

"Hi, Tea. I am just calling to tell you that I am so glad you are alive. I was in a car accident yesterday. And I am fine, but it made me think about how glad I am that I am alive and how glad I am that you are alive. I love you. Let's talk soon."

She called back and left message, "Hi, Tea. It's Larkin calling. I am sorry I missed your call. I am also sorry to hear that you were in a car accident- how very scary. I loved your message calling to tell me that you are happy I am alive and you're alive and that's a good thing. Charlie, Danny, and I got what I initially thought was food poisoning, but turns out to be a horrible virus and it took me down for days and then Danny got it and then Charlie got it. It was absolutely horrifying; our house has been like a war zone. It's funny what you said in your message, because Danny and I have been singing Mr. Rogers "It's such a good feeling to know you're alive" because there were a few days when I thought I wasn't going to make it. So, I am also glad I am alive and glad that you are alive. Now I am out running errands. Call me when you get this."

When I called her, I found out there was another reason that she was feeling lucky to be alive. Her 30-year-old childhood friend, Liz, from elementary school in Minnesota had given birth to a baby girl at the end of March. It was eight months after Larkin's own harrowing delivery to her first child at the same age. Liz's baby was rushed to the NICU (although she is now healthy and well). Liz was fine after the birth, until the next morning when she stood up to go see her baby and died almost immediately from a blood clot.

I checked Larkin's blog today and found that Liz's husband started a blog. He started it to keep in touch with friends and family while waiting for the birth of their first child. A lot of new parents start blogs to post baby pictures and keep in touch with friends and family scattered around the country. This blog was started for that reason as well, but has ended up being a chronicle of what it is to be a widowed, 30-year-old father with a newborn living in LA. I clicked on the link and spent the last hour crying while reading. http://www.mattlogelin.com/ I'm not the only one affected by the blog. Matt takes pictures of the gifts he receives from people who have "met" him over the blog. The outpouring from strangers is incredible, but even more so is the rawness and openness of the grief and the expression of love for his wife and for his new baby. I'm so exhausted after reading it, I think I need a nap. I don't know how he is making it from day to day or from night feeding to night feeding. Matt's blog received so many hits, he had to get his own server. I highly recommend it.