Latkes

"Hey Linsey," my friend asked at a recent Christmas party, "are you going to celebrate Chanukkah this year? If so, can I come?"

"I hadn't really thought about it. I don't know who would celebrate with me."

Suddenly a whole chorus of voices joined in, "Are you going to celebrate Chanukkah? Can I come?"

"Why not? Sure, we'll celebrate Chanukkah, and everyone is invited!"

"Great! What does that mean?" they all asked.

"You'll find out...they'll be dreidels and potato pancakes, the whole shebang."

Once I knew someone else was interested, asking for it even, celebrating Channukkah seemed only natural. "You've all made my December," I declared.

And then I stared planning. "Invite whoever you want," I said to my co-host, "with the holidays, who knows who will show up. The weather, the other parties, it won't be a problem."

Of course, the truth is, I live in a small condo, so I wasn't actually planning on having 22 people say "Of course I'll come celebrate Channukah. I've never done that before." The next question was usually, "And what do I wear?" I live in Utah, where as far as I can tell, there really is no dress code, no matter where you are, so I was stunned to find that yes, there is a dress code, and people are paying attention.
Whatever you want," I responded, "but nothing flammable. There'll be candles."

When the number of positive RSVP's blossomed to 22, I began to worry. How many latkes would a Hanukkah beginner eat? I mean, someone experienced in this holiday knows to come hungry, and to be prepared to eat greasy, oily, salty food, but a novice? And a novice won't feel compelled to eat junk food for the sake of the holiday. I mean, to them, a donut will be just a donut, and not a mitzvah. I looked on line the night before the party and found one article that recommended preparing 6-8 latkes (potato pancakes) a person. I did the math and nearly fell over. "Oh no," I gasped, "this will never work. Maybe Chanukkah beginners won't eat as much." Then I read another article that recommended making the latkes days in advance, so the house didn't reek of burning oil. "Oh no!" I thought. "How can I do this now?"

I woke up at the crack of dawn, prepared to make latkes until my arms fell off. My food processor jammed before I grated the first potato, so I grated 10 pounds of potatoes and 5 pounds of onion by hand. I pretended I worked in a kibbutz. I figured this is what making latkes for the masses must feel like. I ended up with 80 large latkes, and no, we didn't eat them all. But people offered to take home the leftovers for breakfast in the morning.

We played the dreidel, which I never actually did in Israel. My friends, most of them serious poker players, couldn't take the slowness of the game and so in no time started "upping the ante". "On the next round, everyone has to put two pieces of candy into the pot." "The 'shin' letter means, you gotta put four pieces into the pot." "Whaddya mean, 'the shin'? You mean the trident?" And the gimmel, quickly became "the boot". As in, "No way! You got the boot again?? Jackpot!"

We lit the candles. We ate the donuts and the potato pancakes. The applesauce was the most popular topping. Since we couldn't sing the songs that I was used to in Israel, I played Adam Sandler's Hannukah song. "See, you all know at least one Hannukah song," I said.

One of our Chinese friends, seeing what a hit the cultural exchange was declared, "I am having a Mah Jong party!" And I could see my shock reflected in his face when 22 people shouted,"I'm there! What do we have to do? What's Mah Jong." With a nervous look he said, "It's really, really hard." Good luck scaring this crowd I thought. They are up for anything. And I looked with pride around at the faces of my friends, and knew once again, this is what it means to be blessed.

After 5 hours of Hannukah, they began to shuffle out in the snow, with wishes for Happy Hannukah and Merry Christmas. When I went outside to shake out the table cloth, and stare at my neighbors Christmas lights, I found that someone had written "Happy Chanukah!" in the snow. My version of Christmas lights.