Hunting for my dream job

I've been out of town three of the last four weekends this month. Two of these weekends were purely recreational, but one left me feeling more stressed rather than less. The other weekend was a weekend cat sitting for a friend of mine who had major surgery last week. She has two spoiled cats with a plastic fetish. A truely insane and frightening disorder, which causes them to hunt out and actually consume plastic in any form, but particularly plastic bags. I watched them with an eagle eye and safely kept them away from my grocery sacks and garbage bags. Little did I realize that my sexiest pair of three-inch silk heels was lined with plastic kitty-crack, until I glanced down at my shoes at work the next day and found the sole of my shoe, right around the peek-a-boo toe, missing. For those of you not into shoes, this means the one spot that is meant to draw your attention has been gnawed. I wore them into the office today anyway and found myself absent-mindedly tracing little kitty teeth marks around the edge of the plastic lining all around the silk. Somehow, in spite of the stress of guarding living animals from something that their instincts should clearly have prepared them to avoid, I found myself refreshed from the weekend.

I think in part it had to do with spending time at the hospital with my friend. She was in a morphine haze and remembers that I visited her only because of the sound of my chewed up heels clicking on the hallway as I escorted her to a follow-up x-ray. But I remember helping her sit up and transfer to her wheelchair, giving her a foot rub so some part of her body would experience something besides pain, listening to her ramble, reading her get-well cards to her because her eyes couldn't focus, and doing anything else I could to make her feel comfortable. I left the hospital incredibly light-hearted, realizing once again that I am the happiest when I am taking care of other people. Which was a lovely realization, particularly now, as I am trying to spend some time focused on identifying what I want to be when I grow up.

In the past, I never had to waste too much time pondering. It seemed like opportunities were constantly falling in my lap in the past. For example, I'd think, "I'd like to live in Israel" and life would answer, "How about an all expenses paid internship that you don't even have to apply for because no one else is on campus and we'll send anyone, just so we can have a program up and running?" Or I'd think, "I'd like to go back to grad school," and life would answer, "Why not in public health- we'll pay for it?" And I said, "Sure! What's public health?" Or how about a job in Israel, or a job in Salt Lake? I took both with less than a week or two off from the previous job. I needed a switch and there was the opportunity.

So, now, I need another switch and life has yet to hand me a game-show style life-changing gift. It turns out I may be at that point in my life where I need to go out and look for it. I'll be honest, I've been spoiled and at first I think I was a little put out, but now, I am looking around and thinking, "What is it I actually want out of life?" and "What will it take me to get there?" Surprisingly (to me anyway), thirty years on the planet hasn't done much to help me answer those questions. And so, leaving the hospital with my heart light it was enlightening to remember that taking care of people is something I really love. So, then, how do I apply this knowledge? Along with the knowledge that I love to write, I love to collaborate with people, oh, and I love to eat, but I am not really sure I should have a dream job that would involve eating. I might love that a little too much.