My Israeli Side

I told my friend Mica that there was a guy that I sort of liked. "Does he know about your Israeli side?" she asked.

"Of course. I think that it is something that he likes in me. I mean, it shows that I am international, well-traveled, and that I can adapt to new situations and I am open to new experiences." At least I think that's what it shows. But I went out to dinner with another guy today and showed him one of the books I had just bought at the store. Yehuda Amichai's last book of poetry translated into English.

"Do you think that maybe by clinging to Judaism and these things, you are preventing yourself from getting over your ex?" he asked.

I was mortified. There was my worst fear coming true, someone equating an entire religion and some of my most profound experiences with my ex. I told him, "Imagine if you had moved out of Utah after your divorce and then you never spoke about Utah or anything that happened during those 10 years you lived there. You never brought up your knowledge of Mormonism, or what it was like to hike in the Wasatch. All those times you went snowboarding, they were about you, not about your ex. She probably wasn't even there with you. Admit it, it would be eerie if you just cut out those 10 years of your life. It would be unhealthy. It's just that the experiences I have had are so foreign that you notice them when I talk about them in a way that someone else would never notice if you brought up the Uintah mountains."

I had also bought a book of French poetry and a book of Buddhist teachings. Don't those say something about me too? Something that is as profoundly me as Amichai's book?

It's true that I wasn't planning on inviting any dates to celebrate Rosh Hashana with me. I realize how weird that looks to people who don't know me. But for those who do, they know that I have been celebrating this holiday "religiously" for the last 8 years and that, beyond that, part of me is Israeli; part of me is secular Jewish. At this stage, giving it up would have more to do with Yuval than embracing these parts of me. I imagine that at some later stage it might fade in importance for me, but for now, I am looking forward to baking challah on Tuesday with my non-Jewish friends, and I have already been planning the dinner menu for a week. This weekend I have plans to test out the pomegranate chicken recipe. Just not on Sunday. Sunday I am going to the most authentic Chinese restaurant in the city and then watching The Joy Luck Club with my new Chinese friend.