Treasure Box

When I start to feel down, or I start to worry about experiencing losses again like those I am still recooperating from, I remind myself of all the the things that I do have. I mentally pull items out and examine them, mull over them, pride myself in them. It's like a child pulling out the little bottle caps, rocks, shells, and plastic pieces that they keep in their treasure box.

I think: Even if I lost my job, I'd still have my Master's degree, and I'd be able to get a new job. Even if I never marry again, I'll always have my family. Even if I never have my own children, I'll have my nieces and nephews and the children of close friends. Even if I lose friendships due to distance or disagreements, I'll have friends who have stayed with me over decades and as we have moved across continents. Even if I fail at whatever I am trying, I'll have past successes to fall back on and future ones to look forward to.

After a while, I stop feeling like a kid pulling items from a treasure box. Instead I feel like I did on Halloween night, coming home from trick-or-treating with a bag so heavy my arms were exhausted from carrying it. I would take a seat on the floor and upturn the pillowcase. Abundance!! A waterfall of candy all over my legs and the floor. There was always too much goodness and diversity to even know where to begin. There still is.